The more experience and knowledge you have, the more lonely you are as a leader.

Bali, Indonesia. © Marcin Konkel. All rights reserved.

🧠 The more experience and knowledge you have, the more lonely you are as a leader.

Also, the higher up the company ladder this only intensifies. There are ways to tackle that, though. Let me walk you through my thinking and share five things that will help.

💥The effect

The more knowledge and experience you have the fewer people you’ll be able to talk to about it. It might often not resonate with people who did not come a similar (long) way. They will simplify what you’re saying, misunderstand or not understand at all.

They will do this through different heuristics Daniel Kahneman explained in this example: “The essence of intuitive heuristic: when faced with a difficult question, we often answer an easier one instead, usually without noticing the substitution.”

Very few people take the time and effort needed to achieve mastery of a topic or do the hard work — especially one that is uncomfortable and requires inner work to boost understanding or effects. Most settle on an average level, and there’s nothing terrible about it.

Another element is that people with broad knowledge might be intimidating to others. In effect, people might avoid conversations with them. Balancing ego and self-confidence is vital here for remaining approachable yet not shy from engaging in discussions.

🪜What about the corporate ladder? My observations:

• You have much fewer peers who are more busy, having less time to converse.

• Up the ladder, there’s often more ego and less ability to share mistakes.

• You experience more demands from your people, tighter schedules combined with less praise from both ends.

☝🏼 Yes, some of the above change very slowly. Still, fewer people do what you do and understand your context.

🚀 OK. So what now? Let me share five things that I tested:

1. Mentoring — meet people that are 2–3 steps ahead of you and people from whom you could bounce off ideas in a particular area

2. Coaching — do inner work enabling you to feel safe and work out your issues so you don’t feel inferior in your group.

3. Find world-class experts in fields you are passionate about and learn from them. It might cost a lot, but it’s worth it.

4. Start talking about your passions or challenges with your peers inside or outside to find people who resonate. Do workshops. Share knowledge. They will come.

5. The easiest thing to do when you’re alone is to stop building relationships. Don’t do that. Don’t hide. Reach out to others.

👉🏼 How do you tackle loneliness as described above? What have you tried that worked?